Outside

"I was just another book on the shelf, nothing else."

-Titus Andronicus

A sea of people flowing from end to end down the widest darkest street you ever saw and I was probably just one of them walking along waiting for a leaf or buckeye ball to fall out and hit me on the head to wake me up from what I figured was probably another dream. But that never came and so I walked with the sea and waved like the sea and fell like the sea and crashed like the sea and whhhoooooshed like the sea and worried like the sea and seemed like the sea. But as I was crashing and waving and rolling around on the street I realized the depth of the other sea people and realized how far from the ground and then maybe how far from inside and then maybe from the heads. And then I looked in the eyes of the ones in the other sea going the other way wondering what might be in their eyes and not mine. And I wanted to walk with them to maybe see what is in my eyes or the eyes of my other seamates which is my eyes and my own self as a seamate. Then I saw their mouths and decided to not walk with them against myself because if the two seas clashed and mixed like the Indian and the Atlantic at the tip of Africa then when I kissed their mouths I'd be made contagious with their new germs and the things I don't want to say but would anyway. And then I looked into their chests because without looking down at mine me di cuenta de que their chests were wide open and I could see what you'd call the heart or the throbber beating at my face with its blood and noticed that not all were as the same as were. And then I looked in their eyes and their hearts beat in and screamed and poured out and before I knew it my eyes poured out. And what made us different made us the same. And then me di cuenta de que I wouldn't find anyone different and similar to be with. And then I realized that I already found me in a mirror and from then on would keep my mirror for when I got lonely and needed someone to talk to in my pocket to always have me there with me because the only love I could find that wasn't distant was for myself. But then I realized that I lost that love ago and threw out and broke the mirror and no longer wanted the shards in my pocket to remember who I was and hopefully broke free from me and met the one in the other sea who was lookin' back at me and my open chest and my hovering and mouth and eyes and saw what I saw and thought back. And then I waited again.